a bride-to-be at 3 days out..

Thoughts that run through a bride's mind the Wednesday night before her wedding..

where can i find double stick tape?

am i really getting married this weekend, THIS weekend? it was just April..

couples massages in mexico

am i going to remember anything from this day that we've spent months preparing for?

everything is about to be new.. brand new.. every thought, every experience, every conversation..

should i have eaten fried mushrooms, chicken fingers and "intense chocolate" ice cream for dinner?

am i going to cry? is blake going to cry?

i wish dakota could come..

i hope Blake starts to feel better..

i cannot WAIT to go to sleep with and wake up next to my favorite person in the whole world!

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called Children of God! Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. 1 John 3:1

IM GETTIN HITCHED IN 3 DAYS!

Lauren Johnson Lauren Johnson Lauren Johnson Lauren Johnson Lauren Johnson!

New Layout, New Pictures!

These are a few of Blake's White Coat Ceremony. Is it terrible that all I could see walking across stage were multiple Meredith Greys, Derek Shepherds, Karevs and Yangs?

Now, if you glance real fast past this next one, we kinda look like the front cover to the Grey's DVDs..

aww! isn't he just the cutest medical student you've ever seen?? lovely.. Now, only 7 and a half more years to go, but at least they all look legit now..

and it's POURING outside now, so, I think I'll try to pick up where I left off in grey's, season 5? season 6? These last 8 wedding invitations will have to wait until tomorrow, sorry guys.. you don't even know who you are..

A thought on James..

I just missed an October post by one day! dannnnngit!

Now, back to what I got on here to write in the first place.

I'm in a woman's bible study at the village and we're right smack dab in the middle of it, and for some reason (god and the holy spirit would probably be a good guess) this week's made my mind do some serious thinking.

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God, " Colossians 4:16.

Note. The study is on James 3:1-12. So, I'm a gossip, I'm a slanderer, I'm a liar, I'm an arguer, I'm sarcastic, I'm boastful and I flatter. Turns out all previously stated things are leading to my complete destruction and death. Which I knew, but praise God that he knows this about me and still decided to save me from myself. This week and for the rest of life here, I pray that god guards my heart against my own desires that I may develop a genuine faith where singing psalms, and hymns and spiritual songs and letting the word dwell in me richly becomes life.

I'm a piece of work, and have a long way to go.

Apartment Therapy

Here it is.. the first room in the future Johnson's humble abode complete..

the grill, gift compliments of The Bakers for Blake's birthday.. note - do not tell anyone here at the complex that this exists, per our Lessor there is no grilling here.. so it is merely there as storage, that's the story..

Our garden..

The chairs my dad refinished for me, pillows from home depot clearance section..

Our first room, I cannot wait until fall is here so we can enjoy a glass of wine or two out here and watch the air planes take off..

next project, Blake's study..

a new book.

Blake and I begin pre-marital counseling. Our books are in! Honestly, I'm pretty excited... We attended a marriage seminar, A Weekend to Remember, back in June and it was one of the best things I've done! It was so cool to hear what all to expect, how to argue, how to love, and most importantly what the basis of this idea of marriage is all about, Jesus. So, we've taken our assessment exams ( i don't know if that's the right word, just a test to see what we will need to talk about pre-marriage ) we have our books and study guides, and we have our mentor couple, Teresa and Billy Bob... so pumped! And, have I mentioned.. only 94 more days.. blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahaha! woo!

nerds are so in..

Last night Blake and I attended the Dallas County Medical Society's Annual Med Student Dinner... Looking back on my second encounter with Medical Students, I find that I'm on a very long road of medical jokes. Jokes about hypotheses, physicians, medicine and other such things that I will have to endure and fake laugh at for the rest of my life. With that, I am trying to perfect a new fake laugh for intellectuals, I'm taking advice on how I can look believable.. Hopefully some of these hysterical jokes will become repeats so that I, with full confidence, will be able to laugh at the jokes Blake has already explained..

finding comfort..

through the internet..

is that weird?

oh well, after a horrible first week of Blake being at school (it actually hasn't even been a full week yet) I turn to google just because it feels like right now, there is no one that I can relate to.. I pull up my search and just start typing words that come to mind.. med school fiances/wives.. And of course, the first 3 posts are blogs from other Med School wives - blogs about how hard it was, is and will be.. (extremely sarcastic "great!")

http://www.doctorswife.net/the_doctors_wife/2008/09/medical-school.html

^ This lady is genius.. I think I found a new blog to stalk.. So, if I could write down everything I'm thinking right now, this post would probably be every single answer I was looking for..

Being a medical school wife is tough- you make a lot of sacrifices. Emotionally, financially, career, you name it. It can be very difficult to feel like you are often making sacrifices for a goal that is not your own. Most days I was happy to make the sacrifices- I loved Mike and knew how important this goal was for him, and therefore it was important to me. Most days I saw the end justifying the means, it was a shared vision of the kind of life we wanted for our family that we were both working for.

But then there were days that I felt resentful, angry, and left behind. At the end of the four years after all of my hard work and sacrifice I was not the one with the degree, my opinion was not the one respected. Sure, my work was not recognized by most, it was behind the scenes. I think that the days that I felt bad, all I really wanted was a little reassurance and an expression of appreciation. I also realized that having those negative feelings only brought about more negativity. I learned to try to stop them in their tracks (I'm not saying you should bottle up your emotions, or not ever have negative feelings about what's going on in your life- just don't give them the power to take over your life). Instead of focusing on the bad, I would try to find the good.

Medical school is only part of the journey of your life, and in the grand scheme of things it is a very small part of the journey. It is so easy to fall into the line of thinking about how difficult things can be, and trust me- all this will do is bring you further down. Things are going to be difficult some of the time, and it is hard to find yourself in a position where you are so out of control, but you have to look towards the future and remember that in the grand scheme of your life, this is a small amount of time (an intense time, but short!). So my advice is to learn to let things go- don't hold onto those negative feelings, feel them and let them go and move on. Life is too short, and too full of wonderful things to live any other way.

So, for tonight, so I can get some sleep.. I'm letting things go.. goodnight