a merry, merry Christmas

39 weeks pregnant at Christmas, so ya know, here are the 7 photos I took.. :)

 We spent Christmas Eve in Waxahachie with family. Dinner and desserts were unbelievably delicious as usual. Christmas morning, Blake and I woke up slowly, had a small Christmas breakfast and watched Christmas Story until my parents came over. We opened presents and had a big Italian lunch from Buca at the house. The rest of the weekend was spent with Blake's family. We opened more presents, ate a lot of good food, got hooked on Chopped, and spent a lot of time relaxing (or maybe that was just me..)

It was different this year, because baby and I couldn't travel, so family came to us. 

It was sad to not see most of our other family members, but it sure was nice to stay in Dallas, have some sweet alone time, and host company at our house before the baby gets here!

I'm feeling unbelievably grateful for this season, and this year. I quickly forget how much God loves and cherishes me, so to sit still in this season and read of God's promise to His people is so refreshing.

Merry Christmas!

the chronological bible.

is a beating... am I allowed to call the bible a beating?

It's taken me a few years to finally get on board. Confession - I started this yearly chronological bible about 2 or 3 years ago, but this year I've been able to keep up to date. Today, I'm successfully on August 7th. It feels like years that I've been in the Kings and the prophets. I kinda realize why I've never ventured into the history of the Old Testament before, it's not exactly easy. I pray every time I sit down, simply and quickly for God to reveal himself to me, and for Jesus to be clearly seen in what I'm reading. By faith, I hope this works.

It's been quite a drought lately, just getting through day to day of this bible. This morning though, was kind of sweet. It's so nice to read God's heart for us in the midst of "you didn't listen or follow me, so now, I will destroy you" I think He knew I needed this now.

Jeremiah's Letter to the Exiles.

"Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce.  Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper."

One of my biggest struggles now, is being present I think. It's so hard to know in less than 2 years Blake will be done with medical school and we will start a new chapter, which will hopefully include a move.. outside of Texas!

I just know myself and I know that in 2 years, I'll be looking forward to the end of the next 4 years that marks the end of his residency...  And, to think my situation is anything like the Exiles... cmon Lauren. Puts it into perspective. I pray that this will remain my mindset. And, God knows Dallas needs work, needs prayer, needs His peace.



 

 

Living by the Spirit. Living by the Flesh.

I've always had some understanding of what the Bible says when it explains living by the Spirit versus living by the flesh. Spirit, good. Flesh, bad. The flesh leads us to self-idolatry, leads us to selfishness, leads us to glorifying anything but God. Everyone is born into the flesh. Born sinners. Kinda scary, huh?

When Christ came and God called me to himself, he saved me from my flesh. He saved me to a life of living by the Spirit. But, then I always kind of thought this is where the flesh dies completely, when truly our flesh isn't dead and conquered until we come to glory in Heaven. Post salvation we are in a constant battle between our Spirit and our flesh. As sanctification (becoming more and more like Christ) progresses our flesh begins to wane, and the Spirit grows larger and larger within us. That's probably the coolest part to me. For some reason (I always say this, but for clarification - the reason is God, revealing himself and his truth to me), this idea just clicked to me in the last couple of weeks.

Paul confirms in Galatians 5 the reality of the battle between Spirit and the flesh.
So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. ¹⁷ For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh.

5 Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. 7 The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. 8 Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. (Romans 8)

I can absolutely tell when my flesh takes over. I am hostile. I think the world, or the people in my life owe me something. I have little patience, and I think I'm better, more intelligent, than others. I hope now that I can recognize this, and that it will be easier for me to ask God to, in that moment, set my mind on what the Spirit desires.

9 You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. 10 .
12 Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. 13 For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. (Romans 8)

I am very thankful for sanctification, and for the Spirit that lives in me, sometimes it brings me to tears. Tears of joy, because God chose me. Tears of sadness, because I know he doesn't call everyone. Thank you God for continuing to form me into likeness. Thank you for grace during the process. You are better than life.

Easter 2012

also known as, Easter weekend photo overload. If you're not interested in seeing a lot of pictures of Blake and me, in coordinating outfits, then you should stop now... :)

group shot.

the kids.

I talked about the Johnson Easter last year, but the way we celebrate Easter there may be one of my favorites. They start with a church service on the patio. It is so special. Everyone participates in either reading a prayer, playing worship songs, or passing out communion.

Over the weekend, we got to celebrate Blake's cousin, Zach, and Kelly's upcoming wedding with a fun shower. Wouldn't have been complete without a margarita and a round or two (or til 4 am in Blake's case) of 42.

I got a little carried away with the 1960s filter on Picnik. Did you know that Picnik is free for everyone until they close on the 19th?? better get to editing!

It's times like these that make me a little sad to be so far away in Dallas, but on the other hand, I think it makes the couples days at home just that much sweeter.

Happy Easter!

life is beautiful

In this season, this new year, this start of a second year of marriage, where a lot of things are going absolutely wonderfully, God has been teaching me about how ultimately fulfilling His gospel is, and what that really means.

I've been meditating a lot on how truly great life is right now, right this very day.

I mean... the job is good. I've been feeling content in this position for the first time since joining the work force in '08. My work feels do-able and I feel accomplished. I know God has sent down this peace in this season, it couldn't have come from anywhere else.

My friends have been making life so worthwhile. I have friends that are making beautiful, healthy babies, friends that are exploring their creativity and making beautiful things with their hands, friends that are chasing their dream in regards to their occupations. I have new friends, that are so dang delightful, that encourage the crap out of Blake and I in our marriage, and make any time together super fun.

Blake is making A's and constantly putting up with me and my crazy dreams. He is continually stepping up to show me how much he loves me. And more than loving me, he is loving my soul. He is constantly reminding me of how much I am in need of Christ.

With this deep rooted appreciation of how magnificent life is right now comes the idea of how Christ is all we need. Somehow, and I haven't identified it yet, these thoughts have been piggy backing each other lately.

Christ is all I need, and God doesn't need me to be happy.

It's not Christ + homegroup, Christ + praying every night, Christ + serving communion at church. Though those things can be very good, God doesn't need any of it. He sees Christ when he looks upon me and he feels love. It's not anything I've done, not any particular part of my personality - it's Christ and he sees this and is in love.

Lord, please let me remember always that you are first, Blake is second (and everyone else for that matter) and I am last. I also pray to deeply understand that Blake and I are on the same team - brought together in marriage to be an image of what's to come. I pray that I can continually see the big picture.

God has chosen me as a daughter and Blake as a son, brought us together not for our happiness alone, but for His glory. To be an image of Him and that we belong to God and nothing here on earth. That I am made to be with my creator (my physical creator and my spiritual creator) for eternity.

restore to me, lord.

Restore to me, the joy of my salvation. Gosh, how easily I forget that my Lord Christ loves me. He cherishes me and actually delights in me. I hope that this year it becomes unwaveringly hard to forget the love that Christ has for me. First, He sees me. He sees me for every secret, every thought, every anything that I've done and still yearns for me. Second, He came down to earth to serve me. He came from his perfect shalom to this earth to love and serve and teach us. Why doesn't that weigh heavier on my heart? I am a delight. Whenever I find myself weary, I pray that Christ's love for me becomes so evident it's impossible to ignore. I pray that I find myself, more often, running full speed arms open towards Him, rejoicing and delighting in Him, too.

the mortification of sin

Hebrews 12

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

In all honesty, I've been in a drought here lately with Christ. Is it my fault, is it in His plan? Probably a bit of both, but who am I to decide? I've been reading His scriptures, day by day, and filling my head with knowledge and history, but where is the heart? Where is the yearning? I always find myself closest with Christ when there is something heart-breaking going on inside of me. Whenever I'm in my lowest of lows. And, I know that Christ meets me there, every time. But, where is my desire and my yearning for Christ in the highs? So strange. Doesn't it feel like it should be flipped?

God, let me feel closest to you in the highs and bring my soul out of this drought right now. Maybe this time is intended to be clear with no obstacles, so I can really sit down and hear your word, your history and learn your knowledge. Maybe the sin that so easily entangles me right now is the complacency? It's so hard for me to recognize where I am right now, though I can see where I want to be. Lord, bring me to a place where I can yearn for you. Yearn for your love and mercies. I want to feel the weight of being a Christian. I want to feel the weight of learning how to love others unconditionally.

I've just finished work by a Puritan, John Owen. In some ways, I wish I had the heart of a Puritan. It seems that everything is black and white. The scriptures are studied and presented in a way where, this is the truth of Christ, and this over here, is not. I love it. There's no gray area to be discussed. In Mortification of Sin, Owen explains in ways (many over my head) that as believers, as followers saved by Christ, we must kill our sins daily. And, not take our sins, make it fit into something we want it to and say - oh you silly sin, I know that there is grace to cover you so I won't worry about you any more - but, to actually demolish, or mortify, our sins from our souls (by Christ's mercy of course).

"He is grieved by it. As a tender and loving friend is grieved at the unkindness of his friend, of whom he hath well deserved, so is it with this tender and loving spirit who hath chosen our hearts for a habitation to dwell in, and there to do for us all that our souls desire. He is grieved by our harbouring his enemies, and those whom he is to destroy, in our hearts with him."

I just love that visual. If saved by Christ - your body is not your own. It is now a home for Christ's spirit to live. Why, if we truly loved and wanted to honor Christ, would we invite "his enemies," our silly sins, to come live alongside Christ? Something about that just shouldn't sit well...

This book seems to be spot-on in explaining sin and the destruction of it. I highly recommend for any one looking for this type of read.

In the end, like any thing in life should be, it comes back to our Christ.

"Set faith at work on Christ for the killing of thy sin. His blood is the great sovereign remedy for sin-sick souls. Live in this, and thou wilt die a conqueror; yea, thou wilt, through the good providence of god, live to see thy lust dead at thy feet."

I pray that I can practice daily the mortification of my sins, and that I remember his blood is the sovereign remedy for my sin-sick soul. Victory will come in the end for Christ and me.

Easter.

apologies that this is so late, but, this was Easter for us this year. My first Easter as a Johnson. I was sad to not see the Baker family, but the weekend and celebrations were so fun! Eventually I'll get used to this switching-off holiday thing.

Easter Sunday started at the Ratcliff's home for pictures, followed by a church service, then an egg hunt and lunch.






We had a LOT of good laughs. I enjoy every minute I get to spend with Blake and his family. His mom, dad, brother, all the great cousins, his aunts and uncles, grandmas and grandpas. I think you get my point here. I just adore Blake's family, they've always been so warm and loving towards me since day one.






Something new that I got to witness, the church service. I just loved the whole picture of the entire family on the porch, singing worship to our God and joining in communion together. What a beautiful picture of the church and community.




I love seeing God in different ways - I can't think of the word I want to use - but it makes my heart feel at peace, warm and big. My heart feels big? I don't know - but that's the feeling. Knowing that at that time, there are people all over Friendswood, all over Texas, all over the world doing the exact same thing we're doing. Singing praise to God. It gives me chills writing it down. We are such a small part of this - but even in that I can feel Him right there.




Now, I wish I could explain the festivities that make up the Easter egg hunt - but I just think everyone will get confused. I'll leave it as one of those things you just have to witness. (I'm so sad I had to embark on it this year without guidance and wisdom from Reagan and Kacey) But, I learned quickly... got all my eggs and picked good numbers for the fireplace gift!



I can't wait to look back in 15 years at this picture as our first Easter together. We'll probably laugh at our clothes and hair, but I just cannot wait. I can't wait to see the progression of just Blake and I, to Blake and I pregnant, to Blake and I with 7 kids.. oh yes!

crud war.

We had one of my favorite nights at YoungLife tonight. Crud War. For some, it's the most dreaded night of the year, but for reasons, I love it. First, you get to see a ton of kids that you don't normally see on a Monday night. Second, IT IS A COMPLETE HOT MESS. Third, it is a great reminder, at the end of the epic battle, to see what a mess we really are. How dirty, how filthy, how torn up are we all really? all of us. We walk around, day to day, hiding all of the dirt, water balloons, cake, unidentified mush, flour, ketchup, mustard and shaving cream, but for one day we wear it around all over our bodies, for all to see. What a great night to remember that we're all burdened with sin and that Christ came here to save us from it all. His blood wipes us clean. God, please remember these kids tonight. Help them to see how perfectly great you are. Let them see their sin and plead for your son. amen.

Romans 5:19

For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.

talked about this last night in the Village's Women's Bible Study - we're studying Genesis. This is just what Romans is referring to. Adam - disobedience of the one man v. Christ - obedience of the one man.

how crazy, yet wonderful...

It still boggles my mind that we are, that I am, considered righteous by the Lord God. I can say the words, but I still don't think I'll ever understand what that really means..

easy easter embellishment..

ok wow.. just got lost in thesaurus.com for a little too long looking for a synonym for decoration that starts with "e" - I've settled on embellishment, it made the most sense..

kind of an unspoken goal I made for myself for married life and future family life - I want to decorate for seasons and holidays. and since I can't afford a decadent pottery barn spread financially or spatially, I created this..



I invested in two adorable apothecary jars that I, in hopes, will use for every season - just add seasonal candy and shazam (shazam?) - it's holiday decor! Change the ribbon and candy and it instantly brings in the new holiday.. I like my friend and fellow blogger Lauren's use of pinecones here for the winter season/Christmas! maybe those will be incorporated with my jars later this year.. and when I get bored of this - the apothecary jars will look fabulous in a bathroom!

in other news - I think we found night stands for the bedroom - FINALLY! here's Pier One's online picture. I can't wait to get them ordered and get them in that room!

my mom's already voiced her concern about the two-toned - which honestly I like - but, if we do ever get tired of it or the color scheme of our bedroom changes in the future we'll just paint them - this piece has great bones and is the perfect height and width for us.. yay!

today was god..

today for first time in a really long time I'd say, I felt god near. I was heading back to the new office from lunch listening to something on the radio, cannot even remember now, and I had an overwhelming feeling of joy and contentment. It was like Christ was just cruisin' in my passenger seat, window down, arm out the window, just glancing over at me with his wayfarers, saying with a subtle nod, "hey, this is the life."

so, this is where I am and I feel content and grateful. Praise God that He decided to bless me with a full-time job, praise God that I get to be married to Blake, praise God that he hears the cries of his people. I want to be, in a new-year's-resolution kind of way, more aware of Christ's blessings and Christ's nearness. Lord, teach me to sing psalms and praises, Lord, teach me listen when you are near.