hello blog.

it's like the blog is the friend in that cliche story you here all the time. that story that i've most heard at weddings. the one where the guy starts dating a girl and his best friends never see him again. (nothing wrong with that - just sayin') "with flowers in her hair" has been the neglected dude friend. i'm making amends..

It's a new year. It's already the middle of January! I can't believe this.. so, 12 days (happy birthday lauren kimmel) into the year and I've come to realize - I don't know anything. I don't know anything in a good way.

I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow, I don't know where I'll be in 4 years, I don't know where I'll be in 4 months. I don't know who i'll end up with, though I have hopes. I don't know politics, economy, health care ( except that PrimaCare SUCKS ), my job most the time, how to be "sweet", what Jesus says about a lot of things I claim to believe, history, or what to say in most instances.

This is a weird post - but I feel confident in my ignorance. I like where I am 12 days in. I have control issues - duh. So, it has been a trip on my heart these past couple months freaking just letting go - commanding myself to stop prediciting - stop expecting - stop planning. It's not gonna happen like I think it should - cause in the end - I know what i'm planning is gonna be totally lame to what God makes happen in my world.

so, for jan 13th on.. i'm relaxing. i'm praying. i'm getting close to my first love again. let's do this 2010!

So then, brothers and sisters, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh (for if you live accordnig to the flesh, you will die), but if by the spirit you put to death the deeds of the body you will live. For all who are led by the spirit of god are the sons of god. For you did not receive the spriit of slavery leading again to fear, but you received the spirit of adoption, by whom we cry, "abba, father." The spirit himself bears witness to our spirit that we are god's children. Romans 8:12